I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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