I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
