The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
