sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
