Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
