Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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