hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
