I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
