i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
