I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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