No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Your penis caused this!
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