Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
