I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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