Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
