I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
