I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
