All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
