Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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