So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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