im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
