he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
