Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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