have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
