he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
