Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
