Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize