So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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