I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
