I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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