Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml