just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!