Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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