is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.