i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.