We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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