her vagine was all disorganized.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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