Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
