never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
