my sisters under your porch take her home
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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