You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
