I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
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i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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