Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
