I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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