Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
