my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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