We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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