Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
