i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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