she was so not down for the gang bang
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
