i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
