Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
