The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
