Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
