you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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