Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
