I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize