Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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