For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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