i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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