some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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