Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
