The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize