I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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