Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
