I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
