and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
